First, no vet within 100 miles? If you can’t afford to have the dogs shots and checkups you shouldn’t own one.

Crate train. Common sense. Put his nice, expensive pet bed in a nice, expensive pet crate that is appropriate for his size if you want him to sleep in it and if you don’t want dog poo all over your house. Lock the dog in a crate at night and when you cannot be right there to take it out repeatedly.
Every time the dog gets up to play or move-take him outside. PRAISE him when he does what you want. We are talking taking him out maybe a couple of times in an hour or at the very least hourly. Sounds to me like you want to take him out a couple of times a day. It’s not going to work. It has to be constant, repetitive and POSITIVELY reinforced. The wife and kids who wanted the "flea bag" can help you.
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COMMON SENSE

Your method of "house training" goes beyond ridiculous and is cruel. How would you have liked it when you were a toddler being potty trained if your parents had rubbed your nose in your pee and poop when you had an accident. Unless you catch the pup in the actual act, it has no idea why you are punishing it. There are many articles on the net and books that will tell you the proper way to
train your puppy.

Why would you give a puppy that is not house trained free run of the house? Buy a crate and do a Google search on crate training and start using the proper methods of training as you will get
nowhere with your current methods. As for giving the dog 5 minutes when you can, that won’t cut it either. Maybe "when you can" is not the time the dog needs to go. Ask yourself if you can just poop
on demand even if nature isn’t calling.

I sincerely hope that you are just a troll and that you are not actually treating your puppy in the manner that you described.
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When you bought him at the pet store, you bought a puppy mill dog. That is the WORST place you can get a dog from. Those dogs aren’t worth any money. A reasonable price to pay for one of those is $0. Puppy mill dogs are bred and produced in mass amounts for a quick buck. Bloodlines aren’t looked at at all and that opens the puppy up to a myriad of both physical and psychological issues. These pups aren’t raised properly either which ads to the psychological issues.

You bought a beagle/poodle mutt. This dog will never mean anything to the AKC regardless of what anyone told you. The AKC is all about purebreds. When you have a mutt, papers mean nothing. There is no such thing as a full bred beaglepoo. What that means is that they took a beagle and bred it to a poodle. Not a real breed. It is a mutt, just like your neighbors jackadoodledoodledoo. Because he is a mix, he is not going to act like a purebred beagle. He has poodle in him too.

His "brain damage" is probably derived from the fact that he is a puppy mill puppy. Also in part to the way you are training him. When you buy a puppy, you need to crate train him. Make sure the crate is beg enough for him to stand up fully and to turn around in but not too big or he will create separate areas to poop and pee in as well as sleep. He is just a pup. He is not going to bark at intruders, nor will a beagle/poodle mix do anything to them. He needs to be kept in a crate at night and he needs to be let out at least once during the night to pee. He is still young and doesn’t have the bladder an adult has. He will learn that he is expected not to "go" in the house. He needs to be taken out as soon as he gets up and right after he eats during the day as well as various other times. He will learn.

By rubbing his nose in it, you are creating negative thoughts in his brain. Scolding a learning puppy will never teach him what you want. He peed in the house sometime during the night. When you rub his nose in it in the morning, he has no idea what you are trying to tell him. Rubbing his nose in it can also create fear and he will begin pooping in places that he thinks you won’t see. Clean it up, spray it with a spray to get rid of the smell and take him outside. The rolled up newspaper and dish towel will only create fear as well.

He doesn’t care how expensive his bed is. He wants to be with YOU. He is still just a baby. Set up the crate in your room and after a while, bedtime will be a routine and he will happily march into his crate to snuggle into his bed.

Your pup probably isn’t brain damaged. He just needs a different way of training. I know that no hitting and no nose rubbing might sound too soft, but I used to train "the old way" too. It was what I grew up around. But when I got my own dogs, a smooth collie and a bluetick coonhound (who is still just a pup himself), I trained them without any negative force. I have never hit them or rubbed their nose in accidents. My bluetick pup is nearly housetrained and my collie boy, who began his indoor-dog life at 7 years old and is still intact (which means not neutered and intact males tend to mark their territory a lot) was housebroken less than 24 ours after moving in to my new apartment with my husband. I call their names and they joyously come bounding over. I can ask them to do anything and they gladly do it because they trust me and do not fear me. This is the result of never hitting them. Give it a try with your pup!
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Your beagle poo aka MUTT… that you bought for a ridiculous price at a pet store has, like ALL pet store puppies been bred in the sort of place featured in this video..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9eYRoufeCk

This also means that your puppy has had the VERY WORST START in life possible, which would indeed cause behavioral problems.

Do not allow your dog the freedom to be able to poop all over the house. Buy a crate and google "crate training for pups"

Next time please do your research and help STOP these scumbags breeding poorly housed and kept puppies.
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Stop ‘correcting’ him, which is just short of abuse and try yo encourage and reward him when he doesn’t run away and does go outside.
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There’s a few links on this page under the picture of the dog that should help you out. I found the entire site INCREDIBLY helpful with my dog.
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